Every year on September 15th, I celebrate the day that a new addition was made to the heavenly choir and reflect on what might have been.
On this day in 1978, Carlyn Diane Chambers was still-born to two very young parents. She was the first born. We eagerly awaited her birth. Her nursery was all ready, although very modestly decorated. With her birth at 10:20 am, our lives changed forever. This was not what we had expected–we were not prepared for this. I never saw her little face. I never heard her sweet cry. She became a citizen of Heaven without ever becoming a citizen of the earth.
The fact that she is in the arms of the Father brings great comfort to me. She has never cried one single tear or suffered a broken heart. For these things, I am eternally grateful. However, I often wonder what kind of woman would she have been. What kind of mom would she have been (much better than her own–I hope!)?
Many years since that day in September in 1978, God has place two wonderful women in my life that I think answer these questions for me. Both are the first born of their respective families and both, ironically, have September birthdays. They both hold very special places in my heart and life. I am extremely proud of both of them and all that they have accomplished. I will list a few of the traits that make them remarkable. (There are many many more!) Here goes!!
One of these women is my step-daughter Martha. Martha is a wonderful mom. I am delighted at the way she is raising two very independent young ladies of her own. (Abby and Amelia are the joy of their granny’s heart!) She is intelligent and devoted to her family and to her God. She is very resourceful, a Proverbs 31 woman. She has made her family her top priority. These are all traits that I would have wanted for Carlyn.
The second is Kelly Nevins. Kelly is the fanastic mother of four children. (I adore them all) She is very funny. This is very important, you see a great sense of humor will get you through hard times. She has a heart filled with compassion. She, too, has made her family her top priority. She and her family have gone thru some tough times, yet she is faithful to her God. (Another Proverbs 31 Woman!!) These, too, are things that I would have wanted for her.
It has been my experience, that God often raises up things to add to our lives when we have experienced a loss. Neither of these wonderful women can nor should take the place of Carlyn; yet, God has blessed me by bringing each into my life. I love them both. I have a tremendous amount of respect for them as well. I pray for them and their families regularly. I know that they love me and pray for me as well.
My hat is off to both Martha and Kelly. Thanks for bringing happiness to my heart. As for Carlyn, I will see you one day ….my dear baby girl!!
September 13, 2006 at 7:46 am
1 But now, O Israel, the LORD who created you says: “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. 2 When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. 3 For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I gave Egypt, Ethiopia,[a] and Seba as a ransom for your freedom. 4 Others died that you might live. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.
5 “Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will gather you and your children from east and west 6 and from north and south. I will bring my sons and daughters back to Israel from the distant corners of the earth. 7 All who claim me as their God will come, for I have made them for my glory. It was I who created them.” IS 43.
You are truly a precious child of the Father and He will bring comfort to those who seek His face. I love you baby. May God shower you with His grace and comfort in these days. Who are you? You are HIS!!!
September 13, 2006 at 9:04 am
I was ignorant as to how many women have suffered the same loss as you have in losing their children through miscarriage. It wasn’t until 3 special women in my life all suffered the same fate in their first pregnancies that I became acutely aware of the expanse of this hurt. I, too, wonder what might have been. I look forward with joy to hugging them and kissing their smiling little faces one day!
September 13, 2006 at 3:34 pm
Amen x 3
September 13, 2006 at 7:38 pm
What a wonderful tribute, thank you for sharing this. I will remember you and Carlyn with a special prayer on Friday.
September 14, 2006 at 7:59 pm
Donna, first of all as a mother, my heart aches for you. The pain at the loss of a child must have been unbearable. I think that Carlyn would have been a great mother, such as yourself. As mothers, we can always think of things that we would do differently if we could, but must learn and move on. Courtney is an exceptional young woman…and she learned it from her momma.
Secondly, thank you for all the kind words. The Nevins clan are so grateful for you in many ways.. and words cannot express how we feel. The kiddos love you dearly, and so do their parents. Thank you for BEING YOU!!!! Love you too.
September 18, 2006 at 11:38 pm
I just don’t know what to say. Sorry just doesn’t seem to say how I feel for you. I wish I understood these things. I am glad you are able to see the blessing God’s given you. I know you are a blessing to all of us. We love you!
November 25, 2006 at 5:10 pm
Donna,
I just read this blog for the first time today. What a beautiful tribute to a daughter who never had a chance to live and also to the women that helped fill your emptiness. I know Kelly and I couldn’t agree with you more. Blessings to you and to all who know you. I wish I knew you better.